We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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