From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
