so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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