I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
