really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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