I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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