Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
