Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize