so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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