How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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