pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Panties = found
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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