What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
