i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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