she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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