Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
