So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
