when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tornado booty call.. dedication
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
