He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize