i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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