sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
