We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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