There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
