he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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