On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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