Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
