Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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