I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
