it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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