that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
