Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
