i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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