Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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