rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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