Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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