You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
