Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
im on a boat
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