Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
