Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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