Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
