I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
