Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
