I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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