he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
