Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
