there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
