She said her name was "party"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
