my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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