the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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