i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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