Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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