he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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