It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
