You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
