About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
