I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
