Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We left an ass print on the piano.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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