3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
