if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
