You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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